What Does Clinic Do? Part One

What part hasn’t it affected? Uh, I can’t think of a piece that it hasn’t affected. Now, grant you, I’ve been able to be here for four years, so it’s had four years of time to affect all of my life. Uh, and that’s because I continue to grow, and when one piece heals, or I’ve learned enough for the moment, I move onto the next piece of my life. Uh, it’s affected every aspect - the way I feel about myself, the way I look at the world, the way I deal with people socially, the way I deal with my family. Uh, my relationships, especially my uh, my boyfriend, our relationship is healthier then I ever knew a relationship could be. And I wouldn’t have been in this relationship, with this amount of healthiness, if it hadn’t been for clinic. Financially, it makes me believe that I can be financially secure on my own. Uh, I don’t know what else to say. It’s affected every part of me, boundary wise, my expectations in life have changed, uh goals, I have goals. Oh, my gosh, I have goals. And I’m meeting them, one little goal at a time. That small success that we talk about here? Well after awhile, they get, there are so many small ones that you don’t even recognize, necessarily, that you got a goal met, because you’re just moving so fast for that bigger goal. I’m almost to my diploma for my AA. Oh, my gosh, Anna, I’m almost there. You know, who would’ve thought?

AW: Uh-huh.

MS: And that’s because of Confidence Clinic, because of what we learn here.

AW: ‘Cause of that college sort of mind that you have.

MS: It’s because I refuse to go back. I refuse to live the life that I lived. And I don’t have to. But I didn’t know that then, because, for whatever reason, I missed something along the way. I didn’t feel something that I needed to feel. Or I wasn’t able to express something that I needed to express. Or you know, I used to think that it was my mother’s fault that I made the choices that I made. Or it was the man who molested me that I made the choices that I made. But I think it really was because I just didn’t… My mother didn’t have the skills that she needed to pass on to me, because she didn’t get them. So I was able to break that chain here, I hope, with my own kids.

AW: Look at your wonderful daughter.

MS: Oh, she’s amazing. She’s amazing, uh, started getting interested in boys. Uh, I got her a ring for her 14th birthday, because I needed, I needed a way to feel like I was protecting her. And so as she grows, and is away from me more and more, she’s going to have decisions to make, choices to make, you know.

So I bought her this ring for her birthday. And it’s a little red ruby, uh heart and set in white gold. It’s not a cheap ring. I mean it’s a nice one. And I told her, I said, “You can put this on any finger that you want. And the purpose of the ring, is so that over the next few years, as you move through life, and you’re faced with new challenges and new decisions, and new opportunities and experiences. But if you run into a situation, that maybe you just don’t know how to handle just right, and you need a little extra strength, that a piece of my heart is with you.” And so I feel like I can protect her just a little bit more.

And she had to take this ring off this last week while she danced for our church. And she said it was one of the hardest things she’s had to do, was to take that ring off, because she felt a little safer with it on, like I was with her.

And so uh, maybe a little bit of what I’ve learned here, and what I’ve been able to pass on to her, will help her make better choices, and feel better about herself, and see that there’s more opportunities out there than what I was able to see at 14.