What Makes Confidence Clinic Work? "My Laundry List"

After one more conversation trying to explain the Confidence Clinic to someone who knew nothing about it, I finally wrote down the following list of "things we do" at the Confidence Clinic (in no particular order). I called it my "laundry list" and after a while began to use it to train staff and volunteers. While I have been interviewing people, I have been pleased to find that many of you have echoed the items on this list, which tells me basically that we have been on the right track for the past 18 years.

I'm going to post it here, with hopes that you will ask questions or offer additions to the list. And from time to time I plan to do what I did in my staff trainings: take one item off the list and begin a discussion of how it works and why I think it is important.

I welcome input from past staff, volunteers, program participants, all of you at any stage of this process.

Also, if anyone wants to start a conversation on a particular item, feel free to get the ball rolling.

My Clinic Laundry List:

Recognize and celebrate small successes
Be prepared and flexible
Plan carefully
Follow through
Tell the truth
Listen-listen-listen
Detach from outcomes (let go – let go- let go)
Role modeling all the time
Safe space (confidentiality/ don’t keep records)
Nonjudgmental attitude
Compassionate curiosity
Mirror (“Who am I really?”)
Tool box - new tools all the time
Recognize opportunities to practice new skills
Create opportunities to practice new skills
Discover options/open doors (see possibilities and recognize opportunities)
Stay in the present moment
Responsibility and accountability
Acceptance
Help, don’t rescue
Ownership of program
Use of scenarios
Group process (impact on group/impact on individual)
Mutuality (everyone teaches, everyone learns)
Clarity about expectations, rights, and consequences
Do your best; then trust the process
Communicate everything/direct communication
Conflict resolution
Learn-learn-learn
Grow-grow-grow
Mutual respect (boundaries)
Question assumptions
Discover your own assumptions
Be there wholly (focusing)
Take care of yourself
Multiple layers all the time – each activity does many things
Repetition